The Obedience Song
Author Unknown
Sung to the music of Gloria Gaynor's 'I Will Survive' (yes, you
must sing it out loud!)
God, I am afraid, I am terrified,
I swear my dog was sitting nicely by my left side,
We've spent so many months in class to get this recall right,
Now the competition's started and the damn dog's not in sight.
But now she's back. She's had to pee.
Let's start the test and hope that she won't make a fool of me.
She should sit still and wait while I walk to the other end,
But the little bugger's off and is barking at her friend.
I feel a fool. My face is red.
I love her dearly. But she's really doing in my aching head,
The steward said `walk on', I looked, the stupid dog was gone,
Now here I stand, with treat in hand, and feeling all alone
But yes indeed, we will get by.
As long as I can wear a smile and promise not to cry,
I've got lots of treats to give, and if she really wants to live,
My dog will get straight back and give it all she has to give
PAUSE
The Stays are next to do. We haven't got a chance.
Her heelwork sucked, she led me quite a merry little dance.
She pulled and tugged and yanked me while she sniffed around the
grass
Then walked in front and tripped me, I fell flat upon my ass
For God's sake STAY! Don't move your butt!
Don't move a muscle if you want to stay alive you silly mutt.
The time is up. Of course she moved and now we've got down stay.
I know the judge, I'll bribe her just to look the other way.
I said 'lie down'. You musn't sit.
Now don't do that, you made me look a pretty stupid twit
You could have done that sooner when you did your number two
Has anybody got a bag? Can't find my poopa scoop
But yes indeed, we will get by
At least we showed, we did our best and gave this thing a try.
We've much more work to do, it's me, I haven't got a clue.
We'll try again. There's one next week.
SHORT PAUSE
Think I'll go, but they've called my name
I could receive a special prize, having guts to play the game
I'm filling with excitement, can't believe I felt so blue
But hey what's this they're handing me..I forgot the bag of poo
We're going home, without a place.
But Tess is great she really puts a smile upon my face.
She is no good at trialling, she's noisy and she's loud.
But we wouldn't be without her, she really makes us proud.
This lovely dog, can be a pain
But she shows us she loves us so time and time again.
She is best when quiet, and we don't hear a peep.
I'll forget obedience....Has anyone got some sheep?
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